who m i?jerk?saint?god?idiot?i m just a ordinary human.

2nd day of quiting smoking,really struggle and suffering...no only that,,,been quarrel with u through the phone...for the action i aproach everything i doing now,,,,
do u know,,,i so struggling in quiting to smoke,and i m really suffering now,,,,,yet u dont show me some care ,,,i do in pain,,,
i m not a god,if i m,,,i will doing things perfectly.
i m not a saint,even saint do have sometime in confuss...i m,,,,,even though i told i doing well to changing my personality,,,and i might narrow into a different track i that aim for,,
m i a jerk?did i do anything directly or indirectly to make u so piss off of me ?i dont know,,,,
m i a idiot?i wish i wasnt,,,what m i doing is just to change my personality to be a better man,,,and u should know what i aim for,,,,,,,
I M JUST A HUMAN-human's been ,,,,,i do whatever thing i i could as i just wish to be a better man,,,i do put effort on this,,,,my motivation is just too care of u and love u..and i understand sometime i might not doing thing or aproach thing or aproach u in a perfect way or gd way,,,,i just hope that u willing to talk to me about my mistake rather that keep blaming about whatever thing i done for the negative comment,,,,,was that really nothing positive by the react i done?i really dunknow...
so so so sad by the react u in toward me,,,,
and what i could done now?remain silent and torrent all the pain myself,,,,ya,,i do wish at least u show me some care for the decision to quit smoking,,,u never,,,u just blaming on whatever thing i done....i m so negative>?'
even a prisoner deserve a second chance,,,and y cant i just able to get some positive comment from u?
no matter how,,the road for me to chasing my dream will never stop and i will never quiting to be a bettre man to treat u well,,..no matter how high the mountain infront of me to block my way to achieve my dream,,,i will never stop and keep climbing,,even though it might takes yrs or more to climb over that mountain,,,i will still continue to do that no matter i m sick i m disable or so,,,,,
learn from the lesson....learn from the exprience and never give up....